How to Approach Someone You Think May Have an Eating Disorder

Let your friend or family member know they don’t have to figure everything out right away, that they’re not alone, and you’ll be at their side one step at a time. “It’s OK to say, ‘I don’t know exactly what to say, but I’m here for you, and we’ll figure it out together,’” Miller says.

Not every conversation will be productive. If your loved one insists they’re fine, don’t force them to listen to your concerns, Kasputis advises. She prefers acknowledging their boundary: “OK, I just wanted to check in because I care. If you do notice that food is feeling stressful, or things are feeling harder in general, please know I’m here.”

If that initial conversation doesn’t go anywhere, don’t get discouraged, Kasputis adds; instead, check in consistently with your friend. That sends a powerful message: “I’m here for you, and I’m not going away.”

“Sometimes the most important outcome of that first conversation is simply them knowing that you’re a safe person,” she says. “We can open the door, but we can’t make anyone walk through it. It’s the fact that our loved ones know it’s open.”